people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
