I got chris browned last night
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
