No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
