so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
