i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
