I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
farters have to be the big spoon...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
