he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
