K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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