what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
