yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
