She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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