508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
