you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
