It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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