Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
