i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
