So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
