she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
