Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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