haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize