You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
