It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
