i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
