I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
