Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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