I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
