think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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