32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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