at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize