his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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