i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
