Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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