i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
