hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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