You can't motorboat a personality
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
