I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
