Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
