Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
