he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
