First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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