There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
