i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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