I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
