we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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