How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
