i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
