But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
