My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
