is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
