tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
